Everyone's Invited
Everyone's Invited is a UK based web site that invites women and girls to report on alleged sexual assault by men and boys. The individual reports are known as testimonies. The testimonies vary considerably with some, if true, constituting serious offences while others appear to contain no offences at all.
Random Sampling
Below is a random sampling of 11 posts from the site.
St Benedict’s
"Had a male teacher measure my skirt with a ruler up my inner leg to see if it was to short
As well as numerous times boys hiding your belongs down there trousers and focusing you to feel them up.
They would wank off in class or just expose them self to you"
Putney High School
"I had recently started seeing a boy at eton. I really liked him but wanted to take my time before we had sex (I was a virgin). He was very respectful and never pressured me. I later found out that his friends at eton had told him he had to sleep with me before a certain date or break up with me. He waited until I was ready but his friends had decided i was ‘waiting too long’ and I was too frigid."
JFS
"I was just starting secondary school at this point and I remember very well the lunch queues at school were horribly huge to the point that teachers had no control of this huge school pushing in this line for a whole hour. It was a fun experience to say the least but what went on during these pushes is awfully weird to think about. It was normally for boys of any age group to grope the asses and breasts of any girl student. As people were being thrown left right and centre of these queues it looked like a good enough excuse to do stuff like this. It was completely normalized until I got into around year 10 and this no longer happened to me personally but in fact now I was witnessing it. Young year 7 or 8 students being touched up under their skirt by year 10 students is something I’ll never get my head around. To know they felt a power over these young girls (and myself) is something I don’t like to even remotely think about let alone talk about."
Westminster
"A guy in my class at school used to text me after lessons saying that he got hard watching me working. He also graphically sexted me completely unsolicited and then would completely ignore me around school- when I told people about it they’d just shrug it off as ‘he’s just like that with girls’’"
Queen Elizabeth’s Crediton
"My ex raped me and when I went to the safeguarding at my school to help with him following me and making me extremely uncomfortable they did nothing to help as I didn’t file a police report. On top of this they never followed up and checked in. So, when I stopped going into school and I stopped doing my work as a result of what I was going through I was told off instead of being offered support."
University of Edinburgh
"I had just turned 16 and went to a party that my friend was having, it was outside and people were going to camp there afterwards. I got really drunk and when the night was winding down I looked around and there was the boy I fancied sat next to me. He asked me to go for a walk, I knew that meant he wanted to kiss me and I went, I remember I couldn’t hold myself to stand up and kept having to lean on him for support. He insisted we went outside the party to the road, we walked along the road until he decided he wanted us to lie on grass next to the road (away from my friends at the party), and started to take off my clothes. I remember saying stop because I was practically naked on a road and felt very uncomfortable, but after he forced oral sex upon me while I was lying down I saw him putting on a condom. I was a virgin and was terrified. Luckily I saw a torch and some friends were looking for me, he wouldn’t let me get dressed and was trying to move forward until I promised we would do it when we got back. The whole walk back was fear. And as soon as we got back he lead me into a tent and the same thing happened only this time I felt it was easier to not fight since I’d promised him before. I was not wet at all and the pain was so intense, the whole time I turned my head and tears were streaming down my face but not once did he stop, slow down or ask if I was alright. I told my friends it was fun and consensual because I couldn’t admit what had just happened, it was my first time, and everyone was friends with him. I couldn’t have sex for a year afterwards. I have finally admitted that it was assault"
If we assume this is true then we must conclude that this young women needs to have understood that a promise made under coercion is no promise at all. Feminist would call this victim blaming but it is in fact her education that is deficient.
Ibstock Place School, Hampton
"I was getting with this guy but was being clear that a get off was all it was gonna be. I'm Christian for a start and also just don't have sex with people I'm not in a relationship with. He still pulled my pants down and went for it anyway but despite being drunk I was lucid enough to throw him off. He kept trying it all night despite me saying no, but I was ashamed for saying no because I thought he'd tell people I was no fun. I asked him to leave my room and he wouldn't, he took up all the space in my single and I was terrified of touching him with my body all night because I thought he'd think I was going for it."
Latymer Upper School
"After rowing training when I was in year 9, a boy in my year and I were waiting to be picked up by our parents when he challenged me to a game of 'would you rather.' he ended up fingering me, which was my first sexual encounter beyond kissing anyone at this point in time. I told one person, but by the following day the news had spread across my year group. Of course, the boy denied it. He was very popular, whereas I was the polar opposite. Because of this, I was accused of lying and had girls in my year pressuring me for answers and laughing because they believed him. I remember locking myself in the swimming changing room toilets and wretching as I had people asking me questions from the other side of the door. In the end I denied it happening because it felt easier to be branded a liar and have it swept under the rug, rather than come forward with the truth. The incident happened nearly 10 years ago but it still haunts me to this day."
A boy denied a sexual encounter? That would be the opposite of rape culture.
Latymer Upper School
"When I was in Y10 I was having lunch with some guys in my year and my sister (Y7) walked past. I said hi to her but went back to my conversation with these guys. One of them (Y10) started talking about how much he would like to fuck and rape my sister and all of the other guys on the table laughed along and made comments about her body. I remember feeling very uncomfortable and the way they were talking about my sister made me feel scared and sick. The guy who made these comments continued to make jokes about raping my sister to me in the coming months."
Ashbourne
"I'm a guy, but I went to a party where there was this guy groping a girl, and I was told that this was his regular "tactic". He would grope them first, and then if they were fine with it, he would get with them."
Ibstock Place School
"When I was 10 years old a guy in my year grabbed and squeezed my bum, being a naive kid I laughed it off. I asked him why he did it and replied “I wanted to know how it felt” I again laughed it off. Knowing the person he’s turned out to be I know it was malicious, he left a few years ago"
Unknown
"I was about 14 and he was 15 we’d been together a week or so when he asked for a handjob I said no, he asked again about 5 mins later I said no again, then about a week later we were together and he asked again and I said no, 10 or so minutes later he asked again I was getting fed up at this point so I thought fine maybe if I do it he’ll stop asking. So I started and then thought you know what I don’t want to why should I have to, so I stopped and he started complaining. I used literally every excuse “I’m tired” “can we do something else” “I’m not sure” “I don’t want to” “I have a headache” and I went and sat down on the bed and he just stood there with his dick out and got really grouchy until I carried on. When I confronted him about it a year or so later he told me that it never happened and convinced all our friends that I was lying."
Ibstock Place School
"When we got to about year 10/11 boys in the year above would start to take notice of the girls in my year. I remember being at a party and getting with a boy two years older than me, as we were kissing he kept trying to push my shoulders down, I said to him I wasn’t going to do that and even tho he kept continuing to push my shoulders down. He said he couldn’t ‘cum’ otherwise so I felt bad but I didn’t let myself give in no matter how much he tried to push me down to give him head."
Bournemouth University
"I was with a guy in my accommodation as we both couldn’t sleep. He went in to kiss me and I expressed I wasn’t comfortable with that. But later on he kissed me and I carried on because I didn’t want to be rude. We then ended up having sex but after previous sexual assault I freaked out midway through I tried to push him off me and he held me down. We then were laying in bed afterwards and he tried to have sex with me again and I said no and he didn’t listen. We had sex again and I tried to push him off me again but he held me down and it happened again after saying no several times. I didn’t feel like I could leave and I felt trapped. He was so much stronger than me and I felt bad because he was my friend. I’m now scared to be in my accommodation and have been going back and forth between being at and at uni because I can’t stay there for long. Every time I’m there for too long I freak out and I keep seeing him around. It’s so anxiety inducing."
Brighton College
"I was at a party and had a few drinks and a close guy friend that I previously trusted dragged me outside and started kissing me I said no because I didn’t want to and we were friends, he pushed me down on the ground and straddled me so I couldn’t get away despite me trying to get free. I kept saying I didn’t want this and telling him to stop kissing me, he then forcefully fingered me so hard that it hurt and I was saying no the whole time. Then after 5 minutes he just got up and left then slut shamed me to our whole friendship group a week later. Another time with a different boy who I had previously been in a relationship with, we were at a friends house drinking there were 5 of us and I was the only girl. He took me outside and told me his new girlfriend wasn’t as good as me and he missed me and still loved me and that I should get with him one last time, that it would be special, I was drunk and still in love with him so I agreed to kiss him. He then forced me to give him oral despite me saying no then he held my head down and kept pushing me, making me do it till I cried. Another boy tried to coerce me and a few months later my friend into having sex with him, he then had a separate conversation with another friend saying how he thinks it’s okay to convince someone to have sex with you even if they have repeatedly said no."
Unknown
"I was underage at an friends birthday party. I’d been speaking to a boy that I really liked and I knew he was quite experienced and so I wanted to kiss a different boy before I kissed him so I had practice. At this party I was very drunk and got lots of attention from one boy and I thought great I can practice and kiss him, I’ll never see him again and I don’t care what he thinks of me. He took me away from the rest of the people at the party but I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand. I don’t remember much and a lot of it was suppressed for a few years but he held me down and while I tried to squirm, I actually grabbed him down there to push him away I was drunk and weak and I was quite small and thin at the time there was nothing I could do. He anally raped me. I’ve never actually written that down or said it out loud. When it ended I ran and ran and just cried my eyes out I was terrified. He was an adult and I was still legally a child. I didn’t understand how sex worked or that it was really anal and I was so scared that I would be pregnant with this rapists child (I hadn’t started my period but I didn’t know that you had to have had your period to get pregnant). I cried myself to sleep for weeks and even paid £40 for a morning after pill (money I had to steal from my parents wallets) because I was so ashamed. Physically I was bruised, bled for days (I hadn’t started my period yet and so this was really scary: had this person made me start my period?) and had diarrhoea for days afterwards. Mentally I was ashamed, embarrassed, felt like it was all my fault I even started to doubt myself: was it really rape because I really wanted to kiss him? I was into it at first so then it isn’t rape? For anyone who has experienced sexual assault please never doubt yourself this is what ruined me."
Roedean School
"I was sexually assaulted by my girlfriend of several months. I wasn't cautious at all beforehand, as I always thought of sexual violence as something that happens in heterosexual relationships. Since then, I struggle to communicate with partners, and don't enjoy sex as much. I believe that if our (all girls) school had done better in educating us about consent, this could have been avoided."
Unknown
"My ex would force me to stick objects up me and send him videos, he made me feel like if I didn’t do this then I would loose him or he would think badly of me, at this point he made me push everyone around me away so I only had him so this is why I felt like I needed to please him. Would make me have sex with him whilst I was crying about not wanting to have sex , would call me a “whore” and a “slut” and if I didn’t call him “daddy” he’d slap me. This pupil used to to go to St Benedicts"
Manchester Metropolitan University
"I was raped by my boyfriend when I was 20. I had gone out and came back to my flat black out drunk. I passed out as soon as I got home as I was so tired and unable to walk properly (I’d literally been propped up all the way home). My boyfriend decided he would rape me because he wanted to. The next day he told me I was ‘so loud’, I know that was me telling him to stop. He even took a picture of my face afterwards to show me the next day, I was not awake, I was not even conscious it looked like. I didn’t say anything when he told me we had had sex, but it made me uncomfortable for months, in fact years, I would think back on it regularly and it made me feel ill. It wasn’t until the last month I was able to come to terms with the fact I was raped. By someone I trusted."
Unknown
"I was catcalled multiple times in central london, basically saying he wanted to fuck me and wank me off and all I could think was I should dress differently and this wouldn’t happen but ofc that’s not true it just feels that way. I then saw him near my house over Christmas and it really freaked me out and I have been having panic attacks every day since. so fuck rape culture"