I tend to describe masculinity as a set of things that are usually regarded as virtues. You can present in almost any way,even effeminate, but if you readily apply (moral and physical) strength, stoicism, bravery, honesty ... (Etc.) You're probably behaving in a masculine way and I think that's what counts. The other great thing about not relying on relatively narrow stereotypes is that you can easily identify when something is not masculine. This is useful when some dipshit is spinning some bullshit about "toxic masculinity" and claiming that it is "powerful masculine men" who use their strength abuse women and children... Sure they may have a strong male body, but as a whole they are more alike a young boy who has not developed masculinity. They have not stopped their childish tantrums and not developed a view of the wold that is bigger than themselves. Masculinity is plural in nature, and attacks on it always seem to be one-dimensional.
The plural nature of masculinity is both a blessing and a curse. It can be easy to abuse by simply taking a single attribute and taking it to an extreme - oppressive vs protective, exploitive vs resourceful, harsh vs firm.
I think femininity is also somewhat plural though a key differences is that I think someone can simply "be" feminine, unlike masculinity where you must "do" it. The active nature of masculinity introduces a lot of variability, variety and aberrations. --Daniel Devine, Feb 10, 2021.