Hoover

"With friends like these, who needs enemies."

A Hoover is a narcissistic person (often a woman, can be a guy) who becomes trigger during (or after) a breakup and wants to remain close to their former lover.[1] While it is possible to end on good terms with someone you date, a Hoover is someone that you tend to end on bad terms with.

The name Hoover is in reference to a famous vacuum cleaner brand. These narcissist are rather good at sucking a former lover back into a relationship.

Causes

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealized self image and attributes.[2] Narcissist don't like to feel vulnerable or lonely, and the prospect of being out of a relationship scares them. Wanting to avoid feeling vulnerable, they will attempt to re-enter a relationship. Often this is days or weeks after a break-up, but it can occur years after a relationship.

Hoovers can be the ones who break up the relationship, but is more likely their partner has. A Hoover will generally do what they can to keep a relationship going, even beyond the point it should. It might even be apparent to a hoover that the relationship should end, but they will refuse to do so. If their lover does manage to end things, they will try to rekindle the relationship through a series of manipulations.

Five Fears

The actions of a hoover (hoovering) is caused by primitive psychological fears that existed long before the break-up occurred. Their fears are centered on one (or all) of five fears:

1. The fear of “abandonment.”
2. Loss of control over others.
3. Loss of resources (e.g., money, social status).
4. Feeling or appearing inferior or inadequate.
5. Public exposure.